Crying Silently At Night
by claudiaEB
Summary: A tearlike story about Hermione and Harry, be prepared perhaps to cry... it's kind of dramatic, but you can feel the looovee, kind of mush, but not much, perhaps more angst and thoughts, oh crap bad at summaries, only read it if you like H/H.. and Review.


It's quite a sobbing story about Hermione and Harry actually, love of course. Perhaps you should be prepared to wear a handkerchief. I'm very bad at summaries, but if you like H/H you'll like this.  
  
Everything belongs to wonderful J.K Rowling except for a few things..  
  
  
  
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*~*Love is a mystery*~* not everything is in the rational eyes though the human heart has its own secrets and magic inside  
  
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She didn't know when it had began. It had come so suddenly and unexpected, and in spite of all the knowledge she had gathered through all her years of living, she couldn't prevent the explosion that sent electricity from her bare toes to her finger tips, feeling shivers down her spine and her heart throbbing faster, tempting to jump out of her heart.  
  
Once again she glanced at the reflection in the mirror, her forehead resting on the cool and sleek glass surface. Her eyelids flickered, tears burning in the chestnut windows, ever so slowly fading away as she swallowed hard trying to suffocate the flaming feelings inside her being. It can't be possible, it can't be.. she tried to convince herself, gathering strength to open her eyes, to face reality.  
  
The oval formed eyes looked back at her sadly, the wavy hair hanging loosely cascading down the bare shoulders, water dripping down the naked arms. A miserably picture in front of her, empty. With a sigh she moved her hand to her face, her hand cupping the rosy cheek. Closing her eyes yet again she remembered the time when everything was normal, when everything was so right and perfect, when she had had.. everything in the world she could ever hope for.. and now she had nothing..  
  
How could everything have gone so wrong?  
  
That question had pondered her mind over and over again, the same question thumping in her head yet another million times preventing her from thinking straight and reasonable, from making her forget everything and begin a new life even though it now seemed impossible.  
  
She sighed, her breath shivering slightly perhaps it was because of the coldness which had crept in the empty luxury bathroom, or the cry which had not come out this morning, tempting to burst in tears.  
  
She padded to the cool tub which extended from the blue with green squares wall, to one of the covered windows with red curtains, her bare feet feeling the soft white carpet underneath.  
  
The white and puffy towel fell down silently.  
  
Slowly she sagged down among the white and pink bubbles, closing her eyes as she leaned back feeling the warm water surround her. From one of the walls a load snore was heard, without hesitation she yanked her eyes open, her gaze wandering from one of the showers to the single paint of the beautiful mermaid on a plain rock in the middle of a wild sea.  
  
She had heard about that painting a long time ago, smiling she remembered how he hastily had told her and their best friend how Moaning Myrtle had helped him with that paint at the Triwizard Tournament. She could describe his face detailed, how he had lifted his arms, his eyes wandering from face to face, the ever known courage in him strongly visible in the emerald green eyes, twinkling when he came to the part when he wanted to save everyone, including the petite half veela girl in the lake.  
  
That felt like ages ago, centuries ago. a past which seemed not to fit in her future. Which did no longer include in her future.. which couldn't.  
  
A familiar ache throbbed hard in her chest, but she couldn't prevent the memories which seemed to droop down from above, invading her eyes with pictures from a past now gone.  
  
The softness of the white bubbles against her lips took her breath away, as she softly caressed the partnered lips. Her first real kiss which had left her without words as the boy clumsy had leaned down, the soft fiery red hair tickling her temple as his hands had gripped her by the shoulders. Soon he had partnered, smiling slightly as a red colour slowly covered his face, from his earlobes to the nape of his neck. Without words he had laced his fingers around hers and slowly they had walked from the shimmering lake to the castle, which stood out on a raising hill, the sun spreading purple and red shades of colour in the blue cloud-free sky, as it went down behind the horizon. Everything had seemed so perfect then. So utterly perfect.  
  
So many memories followed after that, recollections which made her grip even tighter of the marble edge, he knuckles becoming whiter by every second. She swallowed hard, tears burning behind her eyelids.  
  
Love is such a tricky thing to describe. Somehow she managed to create a smile and giggle softly as she remembered herself when being fourteen in secret, behind the backs of her best friends, looking for the word "love" in one of the huge reference books of spells when they had been looking for a way to breath in water. One of them had been close to see a witch and a troll kiss each other over her shoulder, but she had quickly turned the page to another, revealing a picture of a man with enlarged nostrils.  
  
She did never find exactly what love meant at that time. She had never loved Viktor Krum, in that way anyway. But she hadn't known that she would learn what love meant soon, a love which had seemed so incredible. A love which seemed never to end.  
  
He had been so sweet, sure they had fought like any other times, their different views growing seeds to new arguments every day. But she knew that he loved her... And she loved him with all her heart, so much that she had even let him sit next to her in the library when she usually hated any kind of company when she was studying. Sure he had complained, but deep inside him she knew that he was proud over her, so proud that is was almost tangible. His love for her was so enormous that no one could avoid noticing it. Everyone knew it. Even she though she sometimes couldn't believe that he cared so much for her.  
  
And She really deeply loved him. With all her heart. She had loved him. Ron would always be in her heart.  
  
Until then the other one had been in the background. Observing happily his best friend's found love blossom in an early spring, shoving away his usual problems, letting them be alone without the knowledge what he was going through. It had been stressful times then, dangerous and unpredictable. It was perhaps because of those reasons why she had been selfish, perhaps it was the same with Ron. They had been thinking of themselves. Of course they had him near them, but not in the same way as usual. Why, she couldn't answer. But one thing she knew was that he had never complained, never.  
  
Finally she let a single tear run along her cheek, leaving trace of wetness down to her chin.  
  
Once again she wondered, when did everything go so wrong?  
  
She knew that he had had a crush on a certain elder ravewclaw. The girl was pretty, very pretty indeed. The grey eyes used to smile at him everytime she passed by the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, at breakfast, dinner and supper. Always smiling. And he smiled back. Forgetting everything in his surrounding even the spoon of soup which fell with a clatter on the bowl, sending pieces of carrots and meats on his surrounding.. even on himself. Everyone had laughed at his stupidity. But not she, she had been to preoccupied noticing his absently blushing face, and capturing his gaze that was held on the walking figure of the beautiful girl with black straight hair to her waist. That's when she knew it. He had looked at her, and she had smiled, letting him know that she knew his secret, and that it would be buried down with her. She didn't even tell Ron. Not that it was needed though one month later he dated her, and the whole school knew about the crush between the famous Harry Potter and the ravenclaw seeker Cho Chang.  
  
She hugged her knees, burying her chin between her kneepads.  
  
How often had he complained after a Quiditich match with Rawenclaw, that it sure was hard to have a girlfriend in the opposite team, having to win over her. Ron had laughed, pointing out that it was even harder having a girlfriend being smarter than yourself. The boy with the tousled hair hadn't said anything more after that, instead he had held his gaze on the burning fire.  
  
When thinking about it closer, she knew that that had only been an excuse. An excuse to end the romance with the beautiful Chinese girl. She didn't know why he had done it exactly though she knew that he really had liked her. If he had loved her she didn't know. She speculated that he had been afraid to let anyone get to close to him, perhaps that's was why he broke her heart that rainy evening. He had come to the common room with entirely soaked clothes, a miserably look in the usually smiling green eyes. He hadn't said anything to her or Ron. Ron had looked rather like a question mark, continuing with his potion lesson, but she couldn't longer concentrate on Arithmancy. Ron hadn't known it, but she had known it. She had known it.  
  
Through the crimson red curtains the suns feeble rays shone in, making her remember where she was. The water had sank so much that it reached to her feet. She had lost track of time, of everything.. not that it did really matter.  
  
What was it with him that made him so special?, she thought, gripping tighter around her knees, her long hair caressing her back ever so softly. The mark on his forehead was one of the reasons of course, that bolted shaped mark which had made him famous all over the world. But Harry Potter was more than Harry Potter, the truth was that he was like any normal boy with the exception that death threatened him from day to day.  
  
The first time she'd seen him she had reacted like everyone else, but then after a while she became friends with him and found out that he was more than a famous name, he became her best friend, the dearest friend to her heart. How many times had she been preoccupied for him, how many times had she been threatened for her life because of him? She couldn't count, no that it mattered. She would have died for him, and she still would. But now it was impossible. Truly impossible. Since that day.  
  
She could no longer describe what he meant for her, there weren't enough words. Feelings are truly difficult to explain even if they are about one's dearest friend. They are interlaced with so many other emotions which would be extremely difficult to define from each other when time comes when you have to say farewell, when you realise that perhaps you will not see that person the very next day.perhaps never ever more.  
  
Ron hadn't taken the news very well, he had run away leaving Harry behind by the fireplace with a solemn face but with shining green eyes filled which what could be called tears. She hadn't run away immediately, she'd just stood there staring at him, his words sinking in her brain, which refused to accept them. His eyes had traced from the open doorway to her hoping that she would understand why he did this. Why he had to leave. That it was the only way to end everything, the only way that could give him a possibility to live a normal life, even though it could cost him his life.  
  
She had stared at those beautiful eyes, shaking her head ever so slowly, backing away from him. When he took a step nearer, she had turned around running with all her strength upwards the whirling staircase to the girls dormitory. He had not hesitated to run after her, shouting her name repeatedly wanting her to stop, to understand.  
  
When she had reached her dormitory, she closed it and blindly with all the tears that ran from her eyes she ran to her bed lumping on it, crying load and damming the whole world and specifically destiny which always seemed to have the possibility to curse Harry, the famous Harry Potter. It was just not fare. It wasn't fare.  
  
She didn't know how long she had been lying there before she felt a soft hand caress her back. She had turned around, gazing at the gleaming green eyes, tears running along his soft cheeks. He mumbled her name, and before she knew it she threw her arms around his neck and cried loud that he wouldn't leave them, that he couldn't, that he should stay here and not care if.. if.. everything would for ever be hopeless. That the three of them could be happy anyway. She knew that those words were impossible, simply impossible, but at that moment there was no reason or logic, only desperation.  
  
He kept silent, hugging her even tighter, mumbling her name over and over again as he buried his face in her hair, sobbing.  
  
She leaned back slightly, her eyes mere inches from his, as she gazed pleadingly at him. Somehow that moment felt unreal, as if time had disappeared, as long as she held her gaze in his. Air vanished, and in spite of the darkness that surrounded them, the black room lightened up, and all that she could see was two pools of narrowed green emeralds shining in the cascading light of the silver moon, in the pitch black sky with golden stars as adorns.  
  
She felt his breath on her face become harsh, his gaze devouring every inch of her face, tracing from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes, which behind the running tears looked questionably at him wanting to hear his voice. No words did come out.  
  
He leaned in suddenly, his lips pressing softly to hers, neither one of them realising what was happening. The taste of lips and salty tears, filled their senses as she put her arms around his neck, her fingers running through his black hair. He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her closed eyelids and wandered urgently down her neck, every time hugging her tighter as if not wanting to lose her in the darkness. She leaned back feeling the soft bed as he leaned in, kissing her on her sweet mouth again, putting his hands behind her neck ever so carefully.  
  
A pair of glasses fell on the floor with a clatter, glass splintering all over the floor.  
  
Floods of tears were running along her cheeks when she realised that she was crying. The water in the tub had vanished, and her body felt cold. But she couldn't care less. With trembling legs she stood up, tremblingly gripping her towel from the bathroom floor, enveloping it around her body.  
  
She padded over to the ten five large mirror, with a truly beautiful decorating golden frame. Gazing at the flash mirror reflection she saw a seventeen year old girl with long soaked wavy hair reaching down bare elbows, with rosy cheeks and red eyes looking back at her. Still miserably. She breathed in deep, glancing at the rays of the suns that made the room float in a soft pink luminous light, the morning had now truly come. And she would follow the same pattern as usual, cowardly taking the same steps as yesterday. Walking a path without ground, knowing that someday she would fall and that then she wouldn't be the only one to know that she had lost everything. Everything.  
  
When she would come back to the common room, she would meet Ron as usual, kiss him on the cheek, tell him that she truly loves him, making him believe that nothing is wrong, and together they would both go down to the Great Hall for breakfast, both of them with Harry's memory in their minds.  
  
Waiting for his return.  
  
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*~*Close you eyes sweet angle*~*  
  
Though there is a tomorrow  
  
There is a future. And remember this I'll be there.. .. when you wake up  
  
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Well, what did you think??? Review, please!!!! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Love Claudia 


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